The Nha Trang Beach Diet

Experts will tell you that there are a few things you should do to lose weight in a healthy manner. You know, exercising, limiting your sugar and carbohydrate intake, eating lots of fresh fruits vegetables, possibly some lean meats ... this is old news. I've recently discovered a new way, however, which is most convenient for those who are traveling in foreign countries, or for those who are fortunate enough to play host to a colony of bacterium living in your gut. I like to call it the Nha Trang Beach Diet.

On this diet, you simply lose your appetite completely, and when you do consume calories of any kind, you simply expel them as quickly as possible. While you won't have enough energy to burn calories the good old fashioned way (such as by sitting upright, walking around, going down a flight of stairs), you should burn enough by simply sweating feverishly, whimpering, and calculating the pros and cons of getting the next flight out of Ho Chi Minh City to a more developed country, such as the one you were born and raised in.

By following these simple steps for just a couple short days, your body will be bikini-ready, for the beach that you may or may not care to visit any longer.

For concerned parents and grandparents reading this post, please do not rush to contact the nearest US embassy to have me airlifted out of this country. I am, in fact, feeling better today, and will make it a point to go to some legitimate, English-speaking health-care provider in our next city (Saigon / HCMC) to see if I can't get some meds that will hopefully kick out whatever has been lingering in my system. Contrary to what you may have heard, traveling when you're ill is not actually that fun, so I'm rather keen to make it stop.

But, like I said, if you're interested in being trimmed and toned, I have one word and one word only: parasites.