Monday, November 13, 2006

Paradigm Shift

It makes me sad to think that just a few posts ago, I was at Camp. Summer seems like a million years away. I miss it. I need it back.

I got a taste of Camp last weekend. I was so thankful for it. I've been trying so hard to put things into perspective lately, but it's been really difficult to do. When you're surrounded by noise, people, to-do lists, and deadlines, it's so easy to forget what's really important.

Being at Camp also made me realize how far I've gone since summer. I used to ... do things for people. Jump around and be crazy. Laugh. Now I ... focus on myself. Collapse into bed whenever I get the chance. Sigh. The teen retreat taught me more than anything that I need a change of perspective, and it also gave me hope that I could attain one. It reminded me that God's not so far off - He's even closer than an hour drive to Camp. And it reminded me that this whole big thing called life isn't about me. I forgot that for awhile - so now it's time to put my epiphany into action.

I've been praying for guidance lately, and I'm just hoping that God's plan reveals itself soon. I hate waiting. Right now I would like to:

  • Work on cranking out my English major and the School of Ed pre-reqs
  • Maybe plan a trip for before Camp, just so that I can quench my thirst for travel
  • Work at Camp and have the time of my life next summer
  • Live in Madison next year (in a cute house that I am working on finding right now!)
  • Take opportunities to travel and / or serve others during school breaks
  • See where in the world God takes me for Summer '08

So, as you can see, I am hoping to get into the School of Ed. (I have to work out credits with my advisor as soon as possible, because otherwise I'll be in college for at least 14 years. Which is fine if you're getting three or four Ph.D's, but not if you're just getting an undergradate diploma. I'm not okay with that. ) But it'll be a difficult feat - they only let in 15 people per year to their English Secondary Ed program, and it's the No. 1 in the nation. But, if I keep on the route that I'm on, I should be okay. The advisor I spoke to was very optimistic - he told me it was a big decision to make, but that if I decided that I truly wanted to go that route, they would be very pleased to have me. Obviously, that was really cool to hear. It would be nice to have a professional degree from the top school in the country.

I'd rather not go into the work force right away. I have dreams of maybe doing something like Teach for America, the Americorps, or the Peace Corps. That's a long way off, but I think any of those things would be really great ways to help others and have some adventures in the process. Or else I could do some other kind of humanitarian aid or a mission trip or something. I'm keeping my options open; I'm just not a 9-5 kinda girl.

Before all that, however, I'm just gonna try to do what I can here. I'm looking into tutoring, day-care jobs, school positions, and the like for next semester. There are Tons of options, so it's just a matter of sifting through the information and finding a job / internship / volunteer opp that works for me. I'm also going to apply to be Writing Fellow (basically, a glorified peer editor who's really fancy shamcy and works hard and gets paid) while also sticking it out with SLP in another capacity now that my Committee Chairship is ended. (Emerging Leaders ended on Thursday! So sad! It's taken up a year of my life, and now my resume is calling out, wailing that it is empty and needs to be filled with activities to take up my time ... )

I guess that's all I've got for now. I'm getting tired and am probably going to call it a night soon. I've just got a week and a half and then I'll be home for Thanksgiving! My stomach is already growling ... oh my goodness, I can already smell the pumpkin pie ...

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