The Countdown

T-minus 40 hours.

40 hours from now, the semester from hell will be over!! No more research, no more collecting data, no more Chaucer in Middle English, no more reading really abstract books about racial identity ... wait. I didn't read those anyway. Well, now it doesn't matter, because I have survived. My GPA might crash and burn, my health might crumble to the ground, and I might sleep for a week when I finally, finally get home, but these things pale in comparison to the feeling that the end is SO CLOSE!!

One more exam. 40 more hours. I can do it!

Female, 21, Seeking: New Adventures

To the tune of: Melon Hut

I'm going to Ireland ::oo, ahh::
And to Israel ::oo, ahh::
You can try to stop me but FIRST - ::Whaa::
You'll have to get my passport

My name is Nikki ::oo, ahh::
And I'm really excited! ::oo, ahh:
I really like traveling ::oo, ahh::
I just hope dad keeps funding me

Well, I'm just so pumped I could dance right now. Which is saying something, because there's not even music playing. And I have no rhythm. Or control of my limbs. But I don't care ... I also don't care that I have a 12 page paper due in a week (and still don't really have a topic), nor do I care that I cannot, for the life of me, seem to get a laptop in this god-forsaken library. These things cannot diminish my joy - the special kind of joy that only comes when new adventures are on the horizon. Ahh! If I can just get through this semester, everything will be okay: Ireland, Israel, and perhaps even Alaska await! I love it!

In other news: Hao is here! YAY! For those of you who do not know, Hao is became a very dear friend of ours in our travels to China. He helped us get food and $7 massages and taxis. He told us "don't worry" in a very endearing Italian accent whenever something didn't go quite right. Hao hiked up mountains and rafted down rivers with us. He climbed rocks and smoked cigars with us. He was a wonderful addition to a group of bumbling Americans. Well, he decided to fly in from Cambridge where he works now to surpise my roommate Katrina on her birthday! I was the only one who knew about the surprise, and am thrilled that everything went off without a hitch.

The surprise went like this: The roommates dressed in all black and kidnapped Katrina from the library (thanks to Jones's efforts at getting her there). We were briefly stopped by security, but this was immaterial. We took her to the Union, where brownies and balloons were awaiting her arrival. It was a brilliant! Katrina said afterwards, "You guys really outdid yourselves here." Well, little did she (or anyone) know that Hao was just upstairs, waiting for my cue. After we got her there safe and sound, I ran up, told Hao everyone was ready, and a few minutes later he came down and surpised the whole group! It was absolutely priceless. I think that whenever I am ever sad, I will just think about everyone's reactions and smile like a goon.

I hope that you are all enjoying life as much as I am right now. There's much to be thankful for!

Move Over, Martha.

This weekend, I made a pie and played chess with a Deer mascot. I think I can now consider my life a success.

Ketchup

Hey!

It's been app. 3 decades since I have written anything of substance on my poor, forsaken blog. I was starting to feel a little guilty, like I've cheated on it with Facebook or Gmail or something. I wanted to make amens. Can't we be friends again, Blog?

Well, that was sufficiently nerdy. I just thought that I'd post a little update on my life, for anyone who might be interested. I mean, I've had so little time to stop and take it all in that I myself barely know what is going on anymore! Thus, it is time for some reflection.

The last couple months have seen the beginning stages of some major life changes. As the fall leaves are just starting to skitter around the sidewalks of Madison, so too are things in my little life starting to blow and toss around in the wind. Today, I am sitting at the exact middle-point of my final semester as a full-time student. Starting Tuesday, the semester will begin its descent downward, toward its end. This is strange. I'm a little torn between wanting it to be all over, and wishing I could go back and do it all again.

On the one hand, these past few weeks have been difficult. I'm exhausted. I'm tired of writing, tired of reading - and yet I know that the workload will only increase in intensity in the next few weeks, straight down through to the end. I don't know how I will summon the energy or the motivation to continue and to turn in quality work. Every morning that I wake up early and head to the library to finish whatever has been left undone becomes a day that leaves me drained until I finally get to crash into bed. Don't get me wrong; it's certainly not like I'm working all the time (case and point: I'm writing a blog and not a take-home exam right now). It's just that the things that you ::should:: be doing constantly hang over your head and eventually leave you drained.

Minus the workload, however, I could go on and on about some of the supremely positive things that have happening! The first thing that comes to mind is new and wonderful stud-muffin in my life, Matthew. For those unfamiliar with the situation, he was my boss at camp for the past three summers. (Don't worry, not as creepy as it sounds.) He became a great friend and then lots more! Though it's difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship in college, Matthew's been a great addition in my life. He keeps me sane, he helps me become a better person, he helps me realize who I am and what I want to be. Things have been going really well, and we are happy together. The future is up in the air, and it's hard to navigate the next couple of months, what with talk of China and all, but we'll cross those bridges when we come to them. Other good things: Friends! I love, love hanging out with my roommates. We've been trying to get together more this year, and trying to make the most our rapidly diminishing time here. We've been doing Wednesday night roommate dinners, which has been a blast, as well as becoming quite fluent in the film culture of America, due to the Finer Films Association of 22 S. Orchard. (I have now seen the Godfather, the Graduate, and the Rain Man. This might not be much to boast about, but it's more than I saw before.) It's great hanging out on the second floor with Jones and Katrina. Where would I be without them? Well, probably sleeping a lot more, for one thing ... : )

Another fun thing that has been happening is time home. It's been great. As hard as it sometimes is to get away on the weekends, it's been so nice to be able to come home for various celebrations. My family and I have gotten to celebrate the birth of my goddaughter, Hannah Lynn, as well as the life of my great-Grandmother, Evelyn Frega. We've also gotten to celebrate not just one but two amazing anniversaries. All in all, it's made me appreciate the family that I've had supporting me for all these years. It's so special to be able to look back on the people who've made me the person I've become, and the life that I've been brought up in. I'm certain that not many families have had anything quite like I have had, so all these gatherings have made me appreciate my blessings so much more. I just love my family so much!!

I could say more about my jobs (I'm working as a Writing Fellow and as an employee at Bean Sprouts - beansproutscafe.com - a healthy restaurant geared toward young families / little kids. It's way fun.) or about enjoying my last fall in Madison or about any number of other things, but it's time to catch up on the Office and make the most of my relaxing Thursday. Thanks for letting me be a part of your day!

God Bless Americaaaa

For the record, I hate most patriotic songs. Call me anti-American, but I just think they're corny. I just couldn't think of a better title for this post.

Anyway, I would like to spend some time and write an actual post, but I need to find a job, so that is taking precedence. However, I came across something I wanted to share with you all quickly! My favorite author of all time, Don Miller, recently gave the benediction at the Democratic National Convention. Whatever your political affiliation, you should check out this video of his prayer. I found it to be very moving and beautiful, and it is my hope that this would be the prayer of all Christians, whomever we are voting for, in this momentous period in our nation's history.

Check it out! http://mikesingletary.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/donald-miller-gives-benediction-for-democratic-national-convention/

Let Us Love ... Summer.

I miss Camp.

I miss Madison.

I miss my friends.

I even miss China, still.

But all in all, I think I'm pretty lucky that I love my life and experiences so much that it's sad for me to leave them. I love this summer!

Auld Lang Syne

This summer is ... different.

It's not a bad thing, it just is. I mean, last year at this time, I had almost two full months at camp under my belt. Though it had been kind of a difficult summer, around this time last year, things couldn't have gotten much better. Everything was just amazing. The sixth through eighth grade week was awesome: Kristen was up at camp, I was on ropes and photography, it was Christmas in July. Then the weekend came: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out on the big screen, and a posse of us made the pilgrimage to Oshkosh in order to cheer on Harry. And then we polished off the night by grilling out atop the disc golf course at camp. Then came Jr. Staff camp: There was very little actual work there, unless you count dominating canoe races as work (just one of the many things I get paid to do ...). And then Jones, Werner, and I drove to MLC, and continued on to flippin' South Dakota. Some of the best days of my life. And then ... staff retreat. And the glorious release of the 7th HP. And everything was just so picturesque and unforgettable.

I remember '06 being somehow similar. I had a really great sixth through eighth cabin, and then there was Night Owl Camp, where lots of strange things happened at 4am and Chrissy and I slept in the basement of the AB every night. And then we went on a road trip to Michigan and it was a really good time with some of the older staff. For whatever reason, things always just fell into place whenever I realized that camp was already half over. Life started happening, things became exciting and funny and wonderful.

But this year is different. Perhaps it's because I haven't been breaking my neck this summer: I mean, I've only actually been on camp property for about 10 days. There hasn't been that element of difficulty to the summer. In fact, my job doing Day Camp has been rather easy. I haven't settled into camp. Rather, I get re-acquainted with some of it's beauty every weekend. I haven't made all these incredible relationships. Instead, I've stayed in my comfort zone and enjoyed time with old friends. This summer has been great, it really has, but camp hasn't seeped into my blood and it hasn't been challenging. Maybe I should be glad for that, but maybe without the low of the challenge you can't experience the high of rest and relaxation as much.

Nothing has been the same this summer, which is something that I knew would happen going into it. Relationships are different, positions are different, duties are different. I'm different. I'm not this timid little first-year trying to figure stuff out for the first time. Suddenly, I'm out on my own and in charge and making decisions for not only myself, but for other people. It's fun and I love it, but sometimes I miss being in that stage of wobbly-tottering. It's fun to have a clearer picture of who I am in this world, but not until now did I realize how much it took for me to get here. I didn't appreciate the struggles or the challenges then, but as I look back now, I realize that was part of the fun of summer. That was part of what makes camp great, the toughness of growing up mingled with the joys of little successes and bonding with others who are going through the same things as you.

This post is a bit too abstract and nonsensical, but I guess I am just in that good old post-camp state of contemplation; as soon as I leave, I'm always pondering what makes it so great and how it has changed me. I suppose all I can do is take this summer on its own terms, and be grateful for the days of auld lang syne.

Where Do I Live?!

Hey folks,

So, I've just returned from China a few days ago, something that would take up about all of the bandwidth on the internet where I to detail some of my adventures there. In essence, the experience was probably the most amazing of my life. Retrospectively, we all learned a lot. We all learned a lot about ourselves and how we can better respond to unfamiliar situations, or things that don't go our way. We learned a lot about each other, and the infinite value of good friends. We learned a lot about what it means to go to the extra mile for a companion, and the beauty of sharing your life with other human beings. We also learned a lot about "stuff," and why it doesn't really matter. The real value is in experiences and loving each other - aside from these things, you don't need much more than what you can carry on your back! (Which is not much ...)

It is good to be home. A little surreal, actually, to be sitting on my couch, to be enjoying the sounds and smells of summer in New Berlin. It doesn't seem like just a week ago I was bartering for a painting in Chinese and embarking on my last overnight train ... What change can come in just a week! What a different world.

And today, I shall be in yet another world: Camp. I can't believe it came. I can't believe I'm returning, aganist all odds, for a third summer. I don't think I'll believe it until I'm actually there. I'm a little sick just thinking about it, just thinking about how grossly unprepared I am for the next eight weeks of my life. I mean, as far as jobs go, it will be stellar. I get paid to hang out with little kids and eat lots of homemade food. Um, score. (Especially after some of the "delicacies" of China, some good American cookin' is just what I want!) That said, it's a completely different world than I just came from. Small town Wisconsin is so different from small town China ...

Or is it?

Maybe, the things I appreicated so much about China - friends, conversation, experiences, growth - are some of the very things I appreciate about Camp as well. These things pervade Christian circles everywhere, and I am thankful to know that wherever I go, these virtues and blessings will follow.

Hm. Maybe I can handle this. Maybe I just needed to talk it out.

Well, we'll see how it goes! I'm excited to keep you all posted! There's been a dry spell in the blog, but maybe it'll see some new life this summer.

Prepare for Take-Off ...

I have not written in this thing in months, and yet I decide that now, at 5:20 am before I leave Madison at 7:00, is a good time to update my blog.

I was weirded out today that it has finally come. Everything all culminated up to this. My entire semester of blood, sweat, and tears was all leading up to this plane right and all that follows after it. Planning for China got the best of me, many times. There was so much more planning than I ever anticipated. I'll give it to you straight, I'm nervous. In the end, though, I think I'll come out a stronger, more flexible person. I'm excited for adventures!!

What a long semester. I'm glad it's over, but I can't seem to enjoy the fact that I have three weeks of liberty ... This is a different kind of liberty, I suppose.

My thoughts are not even worth writing at this point, as I have been up for far too long today/yesterday ... so I'm going to call it quits.

I love you all and can't wait to come back with many stories!!

Guns, Dogs, and Sweet Tea

South Carolina. Where do I begin??

Let me explain how I got here. I'm on what we WELSers call a "TCW Trip," or, a "Travel, Canvass, Witness" trip. These are for college students, and they take place all around the country around scchool break times. What happens is a team of about four kids signs up to go to some congregation that needs their help; perhaps they will host a day camp around Christmas time, or do a Vacation Bible School in the summer, or help the church advertise for an upcoming event; it really varies depending on the church's situation. WELS Kingdom Workers pays for all travel expenses, and the church is responsible for making sure we get fed and boarded for the week. It's a nice way to meet some great families, see how things are done in other churches, see another (warmer) part of the country, and serve the Lord. I've always wanted to go on one, so I finally took the chance this Spring Break. A group of Camp Phillipites from Madison banded together (me, Leah Schlect, Kayla Stone, and Sarah Jones) and the WELS Chapel on campus found us a place in Summerville, SC. Awesome. We were all set.

We left Madison on Friday, braved Chicago traffic to spend a night in a hotel near O'Hare, and traveled for far too many hours on very weird connections to make it to Charleston in the evening on Saturday. We were picked up by a nice Southern lady named Daphne (of course), who fed us and gave us a place to sleep for the night. Awesome. We did the whole church thing on Sunday, and then we had to part company: two of the girls (Jones and Leah) stayed with Daphne, and the coin toss told us that Kayla and I would stay with a lady whom we hadn't met, Marlene. Well, Marlene is an older lady who moved down South in her retirement. (I could tell you probably two hours worth of stories on Marlene alone. She is pretty much the greatest lady ever. I'll just say that we call her house "Hotel Marlene.") She's on her own and quite independent, and she actually took all four of us for the day. We lounged around at a park, basking in the spring weather until we made our way back to Daphne's for a large get-together. Daphne made a Southern dish called Frogmore Stew. Luckily, there were not actually "more frogs" in this dish, but it did contain a lot of veggies and various kinds of meat. Strange? Yes. Good? Also yes. We got to hang out with the Pastor, Vicor, and their families, as well as Daphne's grown daughter and her little daughter. All told, there were 7 children in attendence. Children are cute, but also loud and sticky. I hope you are all aware of this.

When we started working on Monday, things weren't too bad. Our job is to canvass, but before we could do that, we had to stuff 3,000 door hangers full with information about the church and the new school and an invite to Easter services. So, we spent all the morning and part of the afternoon filling bags till we were all a bit batty and I began to worry about what effects carpeltunnel syndrome would have on my future life. We didn't finish, but we started canvassing later in the day anyway. We only went for maybe one and a half or two hours, just hanging stuff on people's doors and talking to them if they happened to be outside. For the most part, people were quite friendly; even if they weren't interested, they politely declined. One guy, however, threatened to release his dog on Vicor Joe, our fearless leader. Really? He's wearing kahakis ... he's probably the least threatening person I've ever met.

Monday was not bad, but Tuesday and Wednesday, however, were kind of like ... walking down the steps of hell, or something to that effect. Quite honestly, they were horrible. Absolutely. Horrible. Vicor Joe (and the infamous coin toss that decides everything on this trip) chose Kayla and I to go out with him in the morning, while the other two continued stuffing door hangers. So, we went out from about 10:00a till 1:00p. By the time we came back for lunch, we were already pretty beat. I mean, three hours is kind of a lot of walking, and when you consider that you can easily walk a mile in 15 minutes, so that's about four an hour ... times three ... well, you do the math. After lunch, we simply added to our numbers: All five of us canvassed from around 2:00 till 6:00. Four more hours, at least ten more miles. The highlight of the day was walking up to a guy, getting sniffed up by his suspicious rotweiler, and then coming to the realization that he had been cleaning his gun the whole time he talked to me ... Doesn't anyone in the South own a dog that doesn't look it wants to take a bite out of my nearest extremity? Doesn't anyone enjoy, say, a rousing game of ... oh, I don't know ... tennis? Or another non-deadly hobby?

By the end of the day, we were hobbling from aches, blisters, migraines, whatever ... But, this amazing couple named James and Sarah had offered to feed us that night, (and crash their house, and sit in their hottub ... yeah, amazing.) But after dinner / hottub, we ended up just sitting in their rec room watching DVD's of The Office. We were so tired and worn out that literally nothing besides sitting on a couch seemed fun ... Oh. My. God. We were supposed to do this all week?

Tuesday (or, as I like to call it, Black Tuesday) rolled around. We had been told the other girls would go out in the morning, while Kayla and I worked on the flyers. But I had a dream (i.e., a nightmare) that we would all have to go out all day. I should really consider getting a degree in prophecy, for this is what came to pas: All five of us canvassed from 9:00 to 5:30, with about an hour break for lunch in between. Three neighborhoods. Every door.

You know, I'm a really happy person. I have a really good life. But that day, I hated not only every doorstep that I walked up to, but pretty much everything about my own existence. I had blisters the size of my toes on my toes. Every time I stepped, spasms of pain would go from the balls of my feet to the top of my hips. All of us cried at some point during the day, even Hard-As-Nails-Sarah-Jones, who has the highest pain tolerance out of anyone I know, including my sisters. (I'm sure Joe cried too, he's just much too manly to show it. But I know he did.) There were moments of complete despair. I thought wildly: How can I get out of here? Could I get to the airport sometime today? How much would it cost to change my flight? I'll do it. I swear. I'll do it ... Or, I could just lay here. Yes, I could sleep on this grass. Oh no. What about the dogs? And the men with guns? ... And it might rain. What about that? If I got cold at night, I could call a taxi. Yeah. They could take me to a hotel. I would hardly have to walk. They could pick me up right at this corner. Would Marlene pick me up? I bet she'd let me stay at her house. Yeah, she'd let me. She wouldn't tell Pastor. Or maybe dad could send someone. Dad loves me. He'd come and get me ... What's a good illness to fake? Dysentry? Cholera? No, no, I don't know the symptoms ... Perhaps appendicitis? All I would have to do is moan and clutch my stomach ...

The highlight of my day? Hearing Jones cry out: "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabacthani!" = "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

You know, you'd have to be cut from the same mold as say, Hitler to not have pity on us. We are all honest, hard-working, grin-through-things-you-don't-really-want-to-do kind of girls ... but walking 40 miles in two days will mess you up a little bit. So praise God, Pastor did have pity on us when he saw us come back for dinner. He even gave us the day off today, a day which we whiled away oh-so-happily at the beach (!!!), with Vicor and his super cute wife and their four little boys: It was truly lovely.

So tomorrow, I will walk another 20 miles ... with sunburn.

The End of an Era

You know, it really shouldn't matter. So, a man who throws around a ball for a living decides not to anymore. And this decision cripples a state. It crippled me, for awhile. I actually teared up when I read the news. For awhile, I couldn't think about anything else. It might be a little pathetic, and it shouldn't matter ... but it does. It matters because we're not just saying goodbye to a quarterback - we're saying goodbye to a piece of our own personal histories as well. To me and to many others, Brett Favre is more than just a great player who imbued this great state's team with a glory that it hadn't seen in years. Rather, he symbolizes a way of life that others just might not understand, a way of life that I am sad to see go.

For 17 years of my life, I got to experience coming home from church on Sunday mornings, putting on sweat pants, making some hot chocolate, maybe eating some hot ham, and laying around to watch "the game." Mom would tune in and out, running around with baskets of laundry, Dad would celebrate with Lady when there was a good play, (in between building shelves, if it happened to be 1995), and Jen would probably be jumping up and down or making loud squealing noises if there was a nail-biting pass ... I got to grow up during the years of the Cheesehead and the Packerana and the origins of the Lambeau Leap. I was present at the Superbowl party where we all watched Brett and Reggie and Freeman and Brooks and all the others take on those slimy Pats (and watched some crazy kids run around the house barefoot in January with every touchdown). I remember the miserably hot and cold games in Green Bay, cheering from the stands and reveling in the fact that I was standing in the midst of greatness ... Losing Brett Favre is more than just the end of an era for a football team, it's the end of an era in our own lives as well.

I never really thought this day would come, and I never really appreciated all that the Brett and the Pack brought to all our lives. Because of him, we share this common history, this memory of a time when we had smiles brought to our faces every time we saw a child-like man complete an impossible Hail Mary, or wiggle out of an inescapable sack (only to proceed to block for another player), or sneak the ball into spaces that were undetectable to mere mortals. I really feel lucky to have witnessed all this, but it's sad to see something so good come to an end.

Yay! I'm 21!

It's my birthday!

Not for much longer, but it was good while it lasted!

The festivities began with a shot of Tequila at midnight (ridiculous!), and the day dawned bright and sunny, without snow!, which I loved a LOT!

There was Patient Appreciation Day at the chiropractor's where food was served and decorations were put up (Kayla said it was because they knew it was my birthday, but just gave it a general title so as not to offend other patients).

There were lots of hilarious and touching messages from friends and family: People from all over the world sent their love! I even got to talk with Chrissy in South Africa, and got an email from a friend in India!

I got to nap in front of a warm fire at the Chapel (unintentional, but wonderful nonetheless).

Jones and Kayla and I went out to Pedro's for dinner. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my ID. Yes, folks, I finally get to use an ID, and nope, don't have it. Well, the waitress rocked and brought me a margarita anyway. (It had nothing on the chips and guac, though.)

All in all, it was a normal day. There were classes and papers (still unwritten) and those damn Asian Beatles (seriously infesting my room again?!) but really, it was nice. It was nice to just relax and bask in the love of friends and family. Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes - I'm thankful for you, and for the wonderful years of the past, and I'm looking forward to another good year ahead!

Enough with the "AHHHH"'s

In the past few weeks, I've had enough scream-inducing phone calls to last me a few years.

First, I find out Tracy's wedding had been moved, because Doug is being deployed. Scream 1.

Then, I find out Laura, a good friend from high school, got engaged. Scream 2.

Then, I find out my big sister and brother-in-law are pregnant. BIG Scream 3.

I'm really trying to let these things not consume ME too much, because they're not about ME. They're amazing things that are happening to other people. But when your best friend gets married and you find out your sister is pregnant on the same day, it'll freak you out a bit. As much as these things are about other people, they have effects on my life as well. What will it be like to have a baby gurgling around at home? To have Tracy at a totally different stage in her life? Lately, people just seem to be getting up and moving out and moving on ... and it's just weird to have the world moving so fast around me. I'm not really sure how to "process" it all.

When did things start changing so quickly?

Super (Tired) Tuesday

So, I haven't updated in a long time. And mostly it's because I a) Don't have time and b) Am too exhausted when I do. Tonight, I am battling situations a and b, which doesn't even make sense because they are contradictory statements.

I am so excited to go home and temporarily suspend my perpetual state of anxiety by sitting on the couch, playing with Izzy, watching Amazing Race, eating gobs of birthday cake, and celebrating with my family. SO EXCITED.

And, Spring Break is in like a month. Which is great. I've never been more pumped.

In other news, I've recently developed a habit of compulsively checking flight prices when I have a brain fart from writing. I guess it's better than compulsively checking Facebook, but it's a helluva lot more expensive ...

In other Other news, I have decided to write a senior thesis, if I can get some easily influenced professor to be my adviser. This is actually rather tricky, as I have not "schmoozed" professors as a good college kid should. We'll see how it goes.

And that should just about fill you in on my life. There is nothing new to report aside from the fact that I am now well-versed in Chaucer, Wordsworth, Keats, Coleridge, Beowulf, child psychology, and the book of Exodus.

I must go now, so that I may memorize the first 20 lines of the Canterbury Tales in order to recite them. Seriously, have YOU ever memorized Olde English? I swear, it's not even a language.