What a Difference a Year Makes

March 11, 2010: Wake up at an unholy hour in Phuket, Thailand. Navigate the dark and quiet streets to get to the bus station. Arrive at an airport, the memory of which has escaped my mind completely. Board a flight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Make one final foreign transaction, exchanging baht to ringits. Board another bus to a familiar hostel in the city center. Spend the day with Sarah Jones wandering the busy streets of KL and stopping at a fancy mall, mostly just killing time. Talk about the things that we are excited to do once we get back to the United States. Head back to the hostel, throw away clothes that have seen too many dusty bus rides, try to sleep in sweltering heat for a few short hours until we can board our transcontinental flight - taking us from Malaysia to China to the US - the next morning.

March 11, 2011: Wake up at a comfortable hour in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin. Navigate my way down the stairs of my condo. Arrive in the chilly kitchen, and prepare breakfast for my fiance. Enjoy food that looks familiar and goes down easily. Say goodbye to my fiance, seeing him for the last time for about two weeks. Drive myself to a grocery store about a mile away. Wander distractedly through the isles overflowing with abundance, seeking a few simple ingredients. Spend the afternoon by myself, packing up my clothes, cleaning the house, preparing a salad to take to the Everglades. Drive downtown and finish up some work in an office with my nameplate outside the door. Drive back to a place I call home, chat on the phone with Sarah Jones about wedding plans, and cuddle up in bed, thinking about what a difference a year makes.  

Today is a reflective one for me. Over the past 365 days, I've been taken from a place of uncertainty, vagabonding, and wandering, to one of stability, responsibility, and clarity. When I compared this day this year to last, I almost couldn't believe how different things have become. Life has moved so quickly since I've returned, bringing many new adventures with it. I hope that I'm able to carry the same sense of wonder and awe that I carried with me around the world into the new stage of life that I am moving into! 

2010, Revisited

Well, my friends, it is about that time of year: the time to reflect on the end of one year, and plan for the next. The end of the year is always bittersweet for me: For one, I often get pretty sentimental looking back on the good things of the year, sad to see them pass into memory instead continuing as my reality. On the flip side, it can be difficult for an idealist like myself to look back and see the ways that the year didn't pan out quiiite the way that I wanted it to. But thankfully, the start of a new year reminds me that we're always given second chances, a place where we have some power to perpetuate the good things in our lives, and the opportunity to start ridding ourselves or learning how to deal with the things that we're not as thrilled about.    

2010 will go down in the books as a big year for me. While 2009 offered its own set of total changes in circumstance (graduating and moving abroad, namely), the shifts that have taken place in my life have actually been far more dramatic this year. 2009 and the first part of this year were mainly extensions of a college lifestyle: life was fast-paced, thrilling, and primarily focused on my own desires and inclinations. This year, though, has been one of total transition. I transitioned from the rather lazy, low-on-responsibility, high-on-excitement lifestyle of China and traveling to a more stable one, with a real job and a lot of responsibility. I transitioned from a lifestyle of having vague ambitions to one that actually acts out those dreams. I transitioned from a life that had me staying in hostels or guest houses every night to one where I own a home. (If you would have told me even six months ago that by December I would be working full time and buying my first house, there's no way that I would have believed you!) 

In the midst of these shifts, there have been many highs and lows. On the one hand, I'm so grateful to be back with my family and friends and to have constant relationships in my life. On the other, I often miss China and life on the road with a sort of incessant, dull ache. And, while I'm glad to be at a place in life where I have the ability to form a stable routine, I also miss the excitement of waking up in a new place everyday with undiscovered treasures before me. And finally, while I genuinely love the work that I do, I sometimes miss knowing that my path could take me absolutely anywhere (at least, anywhere that has a budget airline flying there). So, I think there's some learning and growing to be done, and some peace to be made with my current situation. And thankfully, there's always room for that in the year ahead. 

Here's a recap of some of my life in the past year. I hope you enjoy it, but even if no one else reads this, it'll be a nice reminder for me when I'm old and my memory has deteriorated more than it already has ... 

January: 

• I spend New Year's Eve celebrating a reunion with my family and the boys, and New Year's Day exploring one of the world's greatest cities: Shanghai! 

• I delight in playing tour guide, showing my guests some of the wonders of the country that will always have a special place in my heart. We experience the thrill of the modern cities of Shanghai, Wuxi, and Beijing (even spending the night in the super high speed train!) and the quietness of the ancient water village of Tongli. We enjoy trips up to the highest skyscrapers, the most insane markets, and the longest wall

• I am sad to see my family go, but set out on my next adventure of transitioning from life in China (giving finals, completing my students' grades, moving out of my apartment, packing up for a new trip, and getting out of the country juuuust in time) to a mini-solo adventure of traveling to Vietnam. Jones eventually joins up with me, and Katrina eventually meets up with us, and we begin our shared adventure. 

February: 

• J, K, and I visit Cambodia, highlights being the sleepy jungle beach town of Kampot and the absolutely stunning Ankor Wat.

• I celebrate my 23rd birthday in Siem Reap by mowing down some Western food and getting my feet eaten by fish. Ahh, delightful. 

• The trio moves onto Laos. Highlights include gorgeous scenery and spotting an an old farmer wearing a Brett Favre jersey. Lows include being sick all. the. time. (I blame India for staying in my gut when it's not welcomed there.)

March: 

• The tour of SE Asia is completed (for now!) by visiting Thailand. Highlights include taking a cooking class, eating as much sticky rice with mango as humanely possible, and of course, lazing on the beaches. Lows include saying goodbye to Katrina. 

• The trip home is highly anticipated, and it does not disappoint! I return to the States in mid-March and soak up every minute I can with the people that I truly love and missed. Seeing a walking, talking Hannah at the airport, enjoying a favorite restaurant on the way home, and sleeping in my own bed are all remarkable. Mom and Matthew's mom throw two great welcome home parties, and I feel very loved. 

April: 

• Road trip to Naples with Matthew! Enjoy wonderful time with my grandparents and an unbeatable sunset cruise. 

• Interview for various summer jobs ... especially memorable was my day-long experience at an urban farm in Milwaukee where I learned that I am unsuited for physical labor. Shocking. 
• Enjoy Florida, Round 2, this time with my family, and back in our old favorite college town, Gainesville! 
• Celebrate the marriage of a former college roommate, Ashley. 

May: 

• Spend a weekend in LaCrosse watching Kristen complete a half-marathon! 
• Enjoy an excellent California vacation with Chrissy to visit Beth and Anne. Highlights include our insider tour of Hollywood, hiking, wine tasting, and staying with the crazies on the sidewalk for the Price is Right

• Throw a party for the most bittersweet event of the year: The LOST Finale! 

• Spend Memorial Day at the boat with my family

June: 

• Begin training in earnest for my triathlon!
• Spend weekends visiting Matthew at camp 
• Enjoy time at home with my family

• Finalize my plans to work for the Crossing! 
• Make a strawberry pie

July: 

• Spend the 4th of July at the boat with the family and the boys
• Hang out with my family for Parents Weekend at camp, highlight being watching my parents on the ropes course

• Enjoy an annual camping trip with my high school girls, complete with severe thunderstorms 
• Spend lots of time in Madison meeting people I'll soon be working with on a regular basis 

August: 

• Spend time with Hao and Katrina showing them around Milwaukee 

• Chrissy and I complete our first triathlon!

• Spend a weekend Up North with extended family and the boys, capping off a wonderful summer

September: 

• My calendar suddenly springs to life as I move into Madison with work, a class, part time jobs, and attempting to see my family and Matthew. Stress city.
• Throw a successful surprise party for Matthew

• Celebrate the second CZ wedding, Sheri! 
• Visit a long-anticipated US city, Portland OR for an incredible conference with my favorite author. 

October:

• Enjoy fall in Wisconsin and celebrate by visiting the Farmer's Market as much as possible

• Visit a new potential home! 
• Start finding my stride with work and scheduling 
• Run the Madison Mud Run with Madison friends - and spend the rest of the day freezing 

November:

• Head to Lambeau for a Packers game with Chrissy and our men
• Learn how to juggle five Quest trips at once: Kenya, Nepal, Costa Rica, the Everglades, and Northern Ireland
• Relish in a truly American Thanksgiving and kick off the holiday season with my loved ones 

December:

• Enjoy a slightly more relaxed schedule as I learn how to better manage my time
• Attempt to listen to as much Christmas music and drink as much eggnog as possible
• Delight in the beauty of the snow
• Look forward to holiday parties, spending time with my family, moving into a new home, and an upcoming trip to Kenya (!)

What a year. I can't believe all that has happened, all that I've seen, and all that still remains to do. There's so much changing and growing still to do, and I have my sights set on another year to figuring out my life and learning how to live with with more gratitude, intention, and joy. Thanks for being a part of my journey - you enrich it in ways that you probably even don't realize, and I am so thankful that a certain Author has written you into the story of my life. 

Life Stories

Two weeks ago now - did time really fly that quickly?? - I was in Portland for a conference with my favorite author, Donald Miller. The conference was centered around many of the themes that he has been developing for years, which came out in his latest book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. All of you should immediately cease reading whatever mind vomit is flowing out onto this blog right now and go read that instead. Seriously. Go read it.

The gist of the book is that narrative is somehow embedded into our lives. As humans, our lives are oriented around stories, and our lives become stories unto themselves. Sometimes, our stories suck: they're about making money or buying stuff we don't need, or about satisfying our own desires and ignoring the needs of others. Sometimes, our stories can be inspiring: they could be about love, self-sacrifice, dramatic character changes.

And it all gets you thinking pretty deeply, asking yourself, "What kind of story am I living?" If my life were to be made into a movie, would anyone watch it? Would people cry at the end, because it was so beautiful? Or would they walk out of theater because it didn't offer anything compelling? Are you living out a Braveheart or a 2 Fast 2 Furious?

And I'm pretty set on figuring out what kind of story I'm meant to be living out. I'd like it to be one adventure, passion, and vigor. I'd like it to be full of meaningful, beautiful scenes - scenes that make you laugh, cry, or sit in silence: awestruck. I'd like to be one of hospitality and generosity, one that produces rather than consumes. And when the final page turns, I'd like to know that I lived out every chapter of my story with intention, gratitude, and love.

So, what's your story? And how can we help each other tell better ones?

Dehydration Sucks

"Access to safe water is a fundamental human need and, therefore, a basic human right. Contaminated water jeopardizes both the physical and social health of all people. It is an affront to human dignity.” 

If you know me at all, you know I would choose travel over almost any other pastime in the world. It is something that brings me to life. Travel brings me joy, and it continues to shape the person I am and the person I am becoming. I consider it an extraordinary privilege to have been born and raised in a country where I have the freedom and means to move, a basic right which the majority of the world's population cannot enjoy. To travel is a blessing, one that is not to be taken for granted. I realize that when I buy a ticket and board a plane, it's an experience that the majority of people around the world will never be able to have. It is, above all, a privilege.

That said, whenever I board an airplane lately, I feel like a lot of the privileges that I enjoy are taken away from me. Like water. Thus commences my frustrating story: 

So, I try to avoid using plastic water bottles whenever possible, and I always carry around a nice Thermos BPA free water bottle. I take it with me wherever I go, including to airports and on planes. Since I'm not allowed to bring water onto planes - something I'll get into later - I always have to bring it empty and refill it at airport sinks or bubblers, when they're available. But ... then I drink it! By the time I'm 20 minutes into the flight, my water bottle is empty and I'm looking for a refill. I wait patiently until the drink cart comes around, and then I always ask - with as much politeness and charm that I have - "Could I just get this filled with some water please?" 

A simple question. You'd think they'd even be happy to do it ... if they fill me up now, I won't ring the bell later. They have many, many large bottles of water with them in their cart. Most other people are getting their cans of coke or cups of coffee. The water is not going fast. But by the responses I get about 95% of the time, you'd think I'd just asked them to bring me the $7 on-flight meal for free ... Often they are visibly annoyed, but comply. Sometimes they respond politely saying, "I'm sorry. We can only give you a little bit," and proceed to fill me up with about 12 oz. of water for a 4 hr flight. Some have actually refused to acknowledge my question at all, moving on to the person next to me. It's a rare, rare flight attendant indeed who fills me up with a smile, and it's rare that I try my luck for a second refill. 

This is on my mind because last night, when I asked a flight attendant this very question, she was highly annoyed, saying that there was, "no way" that they would do that. I responded, "It's just that I'm going to finish the cup of water you're going to give me in one sip, so I'd really like a little bit more. This flight is a couple hours long and I'm not feeling that well and am very thirsty." She shot back, oozing with sass, "If you want to have water, you can BUY water!'

This incenses me. 

For one thing, health experts will tell you that you dehydrated faster on a plane because of the low-humidity environment. (Normal air has about 35-60% humidity, whereas a plane has only 10-15%.) This not only causes increased fatigue and discomfort (do you really want crabby passengers on your flight?), but it also increases the risk of catching air-bourn viruses (Aren't they trying to stop the spread of these things?). At its worst, dehydration can be life-threatening for those with pre-existing respiratory conditions. 

So how do you avoid becoming dehydrated on a flight? By drinking at least 8 oz. of water per hour of airtime. But how am I supposed to do that when you're only giving me 4 oz. of water?! This would be half as much water as needed for a flight that's only an hour long. But what about on a 15 hr international flight? If I'm following health guidelines, I should be drinking at least 120 oz of water (just under a gallon) in that amount of time. According to Google, in the US, a gallon of water costs about one penny. Thus, the second reason this pisses me off is because the cost to the airline would be so marginal, and the cost to my own well-being is so great. 

But no, my only option is to buy a 12 oz. water bottle for $3. All because they won't fill up my bottle, and I'm not allowed to bring my own - because apparently that would be a threat to national security. I simply can't see any other reason for some of these absurd "security" regulations to exist aside from the fact that they help the airlines' bottom line, which definitely makes me question the integrity of the system. I don't care how much money your company is losing, your customers - who have already paid a LOT of money to fly on your airline - deserve basic service, and they have a right to clean, free or fairly priced water. 

After sitting in my seat absolutely seething for about 10 minutes, I decided I needed to let it go, give up my anger, and channel it into something productive. I decided that if I was going to be upset about not being able to bring my own water onto a two and a half hour flight, I should be a lot more upset that there are people in the world who have much bigger problems to worry about, such as their source of water infecting their family with water-bourn diseases. People have the right to basic necessities in life. Water is one of these things. The very least I can do is help to provide clean water to those who can't access it at all, even if they don't happen to be on a plane. 

If you will join me in this task, we could make some good stuff happen. There's a great organization called charity:water helping make clean water accessible to a billion people who don't have it. 

I am starting a campaign called "Dehydration Sucks" with a goal of raising $500. 

I am pledging to match the first $250 in donations in order to finish us off! 

Thanks for joining me in this. I hope you'll forgive my rant; it is something that is a constant struggle for me whenever I travel, and the other night was kind of a tipping point for me. If you have any suggestions on how to better handle this in the future, I would welcome them! 

PS - You can learn more about water as a human right here. Interesting stuff. 

Unexpected Challenges

I've been in Madison just over two weeks, and life has quickly handed me a schedule that happens to be a faster-paced than anything I've had in about ... two and half years. Reality, as they say, bites.

What's been keeping me busy lately, you may wonder? Well, things that you might not expect, like finding a parking spot, for example. Or making photocopies. Looking into my office to see if I have a desk yet. Trying to find internet. All have proven to be very, very difficult. 

You see, the Crossing is undergoing some massive changes right now. Not only are there two new staff members (myself, serving as the Quest Coordinator, and Jody, who is our new administrator), there is also a new building. The problem is that the new building was supposed to be completed by Labor Day at the latest, and we are now approaching the third week of September. This is especially interesting when you happen to live in the house connected to the church building, and it is filled with boxes that should be in the main building: 

             

              

As you can see, there's not a lot of wiggle room, and it's hard to transition into shared living conditions after having a space that was completely my own for awhile.

All these minor complications have added up to a tiring couple of weeks for me. I'm looking forward to the day that I can DO WORK consistently, without all the distractions. Until then, I'll have to keep learning to roll with the punches. 

In other news, a former roommate of mine got married last night! Now that's two lovely ladies from the CZ who have tied the knot (Ashley got hitched in April) ... Who's next?! 

The Transition Area

What a lame, defunct blog this is. If you've stumbled upon this post, I'd like to thank you in advance for being curious enough about my post-traveling life to read it. On the surface, it would appear that I myself am rather ambivalent about my post-traveling life, because apparently nothing has been interesting enough to write about since approximately ... March 10th (I'll do the math you: that's just shy of half a year). Please allow me to defend myself, just a little: I have actually drafted several posts, none of which ended up on here. I kept feeling like I needed to say something big and marvelous, something profound and pithy, something that would tell the world that "YES! I learned and explored and I came away a better person because of it!" Nothing like that really came to me, at least not in the way that I perhaps wanted it to.

However lacking in grand philosophical treatises I might be, I'm really quite upset with myself for not doing a better job of recording some of the things that have gone down recently, because, contrary to all appearances, I'm actually pretty excited about life at the moment. It certainly hasn't been as exotic as exploring the mountain ranges of Tibet or the jungles of Laos, but it's been good. Allow me to give a brief summary of the past six months of my life:

• In the month or so after I returned, I embarked on a couple trips closer to home: Matthew and I road-tripped to my parents' place in Naples, FL; the family visited Jen and Matt's old stomping grounds in Gainesville, FL; and Chrissy and I decided on a rather impromptu visit to friends Beth and Anne in Los Angeles. 

• Before the craziness of summer camp really set in, I got to spend a lot of time with Matthew up at Camp, which, after being apart for eight months, was much cherished. One thing that was kind of special was that we worked together to host a LOST finale party. LOST was our favorite show EVER and we were soo sad to see it go! But, with our beach-themed basement, Dharma Initiative Food, and all our friends dressed up as our favorite characters, we had quite the memorable send-off to six seasons of greatness. 

• I spent a good chunk of my time in the spring and summer simplifying my life, especially my possessions. After living out of a couple suitcases or a backpack for the better part of the year, I truly started to internalize the idea that "stuff" doesn't make me happy. I got rid of piles and piles of clothes, sold tons of books and DVD's, donated lots of things I wouldn't use anymore, and probably reduced my clutter tenfold. It became commonplace for my parents to come down to the lower level and see boxes upon boxes of things waiting for new homes. It. Felt. GREAT. 
• I also worked hard at simplifying my diet. For quite some time, I've toyed with the idea of making the transition into becoming a raw foodist. (Which means eating 100% vegan - no animal products - and about 75-90% of your food in an uncooked, nutritionally-dense state.) More than that, I've wanted to completely eliminate all refined grains and sugars from my diet. At this point, I'm still not there, as this is a lifestyle that takes a number of years for most people to work their way into.  However, I did make great strides in working toward this way of eating over the past couple months. Most people now know that blending up nutrition-packed green smoothies (fruit smoothies blended with lots of leafy greens) is an absolutely given part of my day!
• Before I started working very much, I had loooads of free time. I decided to make the most of it by tackling a goal I've held for quite some time: complete a triathlon! Upon my return, my dad taught me how to swim properly, and then I started getting out on some of the bikes we had lying around at the house. And, I pulled out my running shoes again and committed to a training schedule. After three months of diligent work-outs, I crossed the finish line at the Danskin Chicagoland Triathlon in Pleasant Prairie! I can't tell you what a satisfying experience this was for me. It felt awesome to know that I worked to complete something that I never could have "just done." It felt even better to complete the race and be greeted by my family and Matthew, and to have been supported by them and my awesome friend and training buddy Chrissy throughout the whole summer. I LOVE the sport, and I can't wait to do another next year! 

• Perhaps one of the most exciting things of the past couple months has been the job that sort of fell into my lap a couple months ago. Awhile back I got together with Doug, who had been the staff advisor on a trip that I took with a group of students to Israel-Palestine the spring of my senior year of college. He told me that they were looking to grow their Quest program, of which Israel-Palestine was just one trip of many that they coordinated all around the world. He asked if I was interested in coordinating these trips. Was I!? Of course! So, I've been working from home for the past couple months, commuting to Madison every now and again to hammer some stuff out in person. This January, we'll be sending out teams of students to Nepal, Costa Rica, and Kenya. So, we'll have a busy fall of recruitment and preparing for departure, but I'm absolutely thrilled about the position and am excited to really get into the swing of things in Madison. (You can check us out at www.badgerquest.org and see what I've been working on!)

There have been so many ways in which these past few months have been just as important and transformative as the adventures that preceded them. However, the biggest blessing about my time home has just been the fact that I've been able to really relish my moments with the people that mean the most to me. I can't tell you how much each of my days here has been enriched by just being in the presence of people I really, really love. It has been a blessing to be able to spend another summer getting to see my niece grow up into a beautiful, hilarious little girl; to be able to do things like go strawberry picking with my mom on a whim, or watch the thunderstorms on the porch with my dad, or go out to lunch with my sisters. For the first time in awhile, I've been able to be a part of and plan get-togethers with friends and family, and that's a really great feeling.

In triathlons, there's a pretty critical area called the Transition Area. It's where you change from your swim to your bike, and your bike to your run. It's timed separately, and it's kind of a little haven of food and breath and water before you set out full-steam again. As I went for one of my final New Berlin bike rides the other night, I couldn't help but feel like the last six months here at home have been my own little transition area. College, traveling, living abroad - these things were all thrilling and exciting, and I absolutely wouldn't give up those formative experiences for anything. However, I'm not sure that I would have liked moving forward as much if I didn't have this time back at home under my belt. It has been beyond wonderful to take life at a relaxed pace, and to truly have time to ponder where I'm going and the kind of person that I want to be. 

Now I'm heading out again, back to a new life in Madison. I'm so excited about it, but of course, a little sad to see this truly idyllic time of my life come to a close. But I guess none of us can stay in the Transition Area for the whole race. It's a place for us to recharge, refuel, and refocus our efforts, but not a place for us to hang around. So I'll appreciate it for what it is, and get ready to move forward, invigorated by what it has done for me. 

Thanks for reading! I imagine that my life in the future will be a little more structured, so stay tuned; I'll work at being more consistent with this! 

Oblivion

I feel like it's been awhile since I've posted anything, and it probably has been ... I can't remember. There's a lot of things I can't remember lately (such as the day of the week, for example) because I was floating around in the blissful oblivion that is found on the beaches of southern Thailand.

For the past 4, 5, 6 days (I really don't know how long, and I can't be bothered to figure it out), I was soaking up the sun on the beaches of the Andaman Coast of Thailand. Our jumping off point was a beach outside the town of Krabi called Ao Nang. From there, we were able to grab ferries or small boats over to other beaches and islands in the area. When planning this trip however many months ago, I had ambitions of taking advantage of the world-class climbing, scuba diving, and snorkeling that is to be found in these here parts. But, upon arrival, I found that I had absolutely no desire to do anything but lay on my cheap bamboo mat with book in hand. Some kind stranger just gave away her copy of the 600+ pg Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie to me. I was so grateful, as even used English books on this side of the world are stupid expensive. It has been widely entertaining, especially if you've had the privilidge or misfortune of traveling to India, however you look at it ... ;) Had it not been for this book, even more of my brain cells would have floated away with the tide, and I would have been simply unable to resist the pull of the vortex of paradise.

And this, my friends, is nearly a wrap. Come 4:30am tomorrow, I'll be dragging myself out of bed and cursing the commencement of the first leg of the 36+ hr journey back to MKE ...

Just like that, eight months is almost over?